The problem is…the rest of the world is three drinks behind.

Puerile innuendo…

Facinorous left hooks…
iMPROPER gramm3r…
Sexist images…  ( . ) ( . )
Worthless diatribe…
All backed by our strong Pro-Anti-Neutral-Gun-Sword-Olivebranch commitments!!  We have a law-abiding rebellious nature, jaded by religion and politics.
…yea.  That sums it up kinda nicely.

The Beer Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and
the lager.

Barmen

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